Jumaat, 17 Disember 2010

The Continuity

Its hard to say hear, its been a long2 time i didn't write an entry since i started my 4th year of study. Ya Allah what happen to me now. I really wanna get out from this misery. I feel lonely, bored and sinful of my life. A lots of thing i have done, but im still doing it. Not sure why? hmmp i really wanna know how my live in future. I hate being like this. It makes me feel sick. Oh God please help me. Im lost. I lost to the world, i lost to my life. I hate become a loser. Now im having problem with my weight. seem that im fat. Ohhhh!!!!.

I have a lots of friends, brothers n parents. What i can do with them? I never ask to live, but You give me a life, that life i dont know how to manage. Help me Allah. I lost to myself. Im sinful.

Some people say that, life is beautiful, but for me..hmmp, i dont know...sometime we're at the top but sometime we're at the bottom. Sometime we are happy but sometime we are sad. sometime we are rich of smile but sometime we are rich with tears. I think thats why they call life is beautiful. I heard a lots of news from TV, news all about disaster, disease, killing and many more. Hmmp is that what they beautiful? Why i born to this world? Why? I never ask to born in this world. I think that no one have ask to born to this world. Its hard to tell because, when we born to this life we still a baby and we dont know how to think wisely. Then we grow up with ego and with proud. So what are the main purpose of living??? We should ask our self, whats the meaning all of this? lets say we can live into 100 years old or worst we die young, so whats we need to fillup our live?? Ya Allah please guide me to you, i need your guidance, i really need it, i need it so badly. You the Only ONE can guide me to the truth, to the right path and to return to where we are belong.

Sometime human die in reckless way but sometime in peace. Can we choose how we gonna die? Can we?? for time being i need energy to fix my project and to find a mistake in my project. Since i have been pay by the University. I dont want to take the money without giving a good product. I need energy to start my project back. I dont have any idea how to fix it. Ya Allah help me with this. And now im sleepy, and i want to go to sleep, i want to wake up tomorrow with a new life, new energy, new hope, new purpose, new light, new attitude, new thought, new mind, new soul, new eye. All brand new. Ya Allah please give me strange and help me to go through, I miss You Allah, I need to be with You Always. Tomorrow will be something big in my life, i will pray for every period and i will control my food problem.

i thinks its time for me to go sleep. so goodnight.


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